


Three Problems

by jaeminsrenjun



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Related, Comedy, Humor, M/M, i have no idea what this is actually please don't kill me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-10
Updated: 2018-06-10
Packaged: 2019-05-20 12:24:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14894588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaeminsrenjun/pseuds/jaeminsrenjun
Summary: Jaemin is obsessed, Jeno is frustrated, and Renjun just wants to stay unbothered.





	Three Problems

Na Jaemin had a problem.

Ever since he came back from hiatus, he’d been trying to create a new ship. Why? He saw firsthand how much power ships held when Markhyuck and Chensung were trending on various Korean sites. He realised that there was a definite positive correlation between the number of ships one had and individual popularity. He knew, of course, that Nomin was popular. Thanks to his and Jeno’s good looks and compatibility, coupled with the fact they had basically grown up together, fans went crazy over them. But he felt that it was time for a change and that he needed to expand to newer horizons. As his mum always told him, never put all your eggs in one basket – he needed to diversify. Plus, he was a bit tired of doing fanservice with Jeno all the time. Though SM was pushing for Nomin by always putting them together in teasers, Jaemin had other ideas. As they say, the more the merrier – definitely also true when it came to ships.

He set about thinking about who he could create a new ship with. Because Markhyuck and Chensung were long-lasting fan favourite ships, he knew it wouldn’t be effective targeting any of them. Which left him with Renjun. At that point, Noren was a pretty popular ship too – due to the many sweet interactions they had during My First and Last and We Young promotions, where Jeno was, to quote the fans, “ideal boyfriend material”. He’d opened the car door for Renjun, backhugged him and even piggy-backed him. Jaemin knew he’d have a hard time beating that, but decided to give it a try anyway.

Renjun was an interesting target because Jaemin had known him for a shorter while than the others. While this might’ve led to awkwardness, Renjun and Jaemin didn’t have any issues getting along. They teased and tickled each other often, and Jaemin was sure that their friendship wouldn’t be affected by him starting a ship.

But the thing was, Renjun was so damn oblivious. As common wisdom goes, the eyes are the window to one’s soul, so Jaemin had first started out simply, with longing gazes – nothing too over-the-top, just enough for fans to get excited and yearn for more. During every single V-Live broadcast, no matter how far apart they were seated, he’d make it a point to cast loving glances in Renjun’s direction, sometimes even when he wasn’t speaking. He’d also reserve his most adoring smile for Renjun and Renjun alone. But Renjun remained unmoved, rarely looking back at him and almost always plainly ignoring him. Truth be told, Jaemin didn’t know what he was expecting – perhaps a shy smile back in his direction, or some glances back at him – but definitely not this cool lack of _anything._

Every effort Jaemin put in to try to get Renjun to reciprocate went to nought. He’d even busted the big bucks, buying matching silver and rose gold bracelets from Daniel Wellington for Renjun’s birthday, intending that they wear it together as couple bracelets. As far as he knew, no one else in NCT had couple items, which meant that if his calculations were correct his move would definitely cause Renmin to skyrocket up the ship list.

“Sure, I’ll wear it with you,” Renjun agreed with a smile, only for him to wear it a grand total of five times before banishing it into the depths of oblivion.

 _Traitor,_ Jaemin thought angrily. _All men do is lie._ What Renjun pulled on him would definitely go under Top 10 Anime Betrayals, no question about it.

Jaemin at first hinted, then requested, then outright begged Renjun to wear the bracelet to no avail. He’d even written it on the note to a fan, hoping that the request coming from a fan would make Renjun come to his senses and wear the damn bracelet. But no, Renjun simply smiled, told the fan that he would try his best, and still merrily went about his daily life, left wrist glaringly bracelet-free. The bracelet never saw the light of day again, and till this day Jaemin still wonders about the whereabouts of the thin silver band.

Well if gazes and gifts didn’t work, Jaemin just had to make it even more obvious. Which was why he played his trump card by trying to kiss Renjun when they were filming the dance practice video for Miracle. Jaemin had his eyes on the prize seconds before their part, and when it came, grabbed Renjun’s hand and leaned in towards him with lips pouted. But Renjun simply took an extra glance at him and continued dancing, completely unfazed. Hell, he didn’t even blink! As if people trying to kiss him was a daily occurrence that he’d gotten used to. Jaemin even took the time to moisturise his lips the night before, making sure they weren’t chapped. But did Renjun even look at them long enough to notice? No! Jaemin couldn’t believe how tough a nut Renjun was to crack.

Jaemin was stumped. Either Renjun was completely unaffected, or he was really good at hiding his emotions, and Jaemin didn’t know what else he should do. Or what else he _could_ do, even. He thought about giving up this one-sided pursuit, but he was nothing if not persistent, so push on he did. He didn’t believe that Renjun would remain impenetrable to his charm offensive – he just needed to find the right buttons.

 

 

Lee Jeno had a problem.

As a first-hand eyewitness of the growing obsession of Jaemin over Renjun, it was disturbingly obvious how Jaemin was trying (pathetically and without success) to get Renjun to reciprocate his actions. Anyone with eyes could catch the glimpses Jaemin threw to Renjun, and the sheer number of times he’d stare at his lips. Jeno had once walked past Jaemin’s room one day to hear him thinking out loud of ways he could catch Renjun’s attention. It was almost like watching his ex-boyfriend chase his current boyfriend, which left him with a strange taste in his mouth. At this point, Jeno halted his train of thought and chided himself for that.

Boyfriends? What nonsense! They were… they were shipmates at best. Jeno most certainly didn’t like either of them, not in _that_ way, but how else was he supposed to feel when his long-time shipmate just upped and left him for his other long-time shipmate?

The whole thing left him rather confused. He didn’t know what to make of it. Well, he was annoyed initially, because both Renjun and Jaemin were supposed to be shipped with _him_ , not with each other. He liked to think that he was the most shippable member in NCT Dream, and didn’t want either Jaemin or Renjun to snatch that title away from him. He thought that after Jaemin returned, he would want to revive Nomin, which he sort of did, in a way – sharing a potato chip with him in a photo and kissing his cheek on the plane. But he saw that Jaemin often had eyes for Renjun only, and he’d feel a flame of jealousy burn through his heart. He didn’t even know who he was jealous of more – Renjun for being on the receiving end of Jaemin’s soulful glances, or Jaemin for freely showing his affection towards Renjun. On his part, Jeno tried to keep both Nomin and Noren alive in various ways, such as by holding Jaemin’s hand during the Celuv TV interview, and by holding an umbrella for Renjun during the Dream Concert.

But nothing he did could hold a candle to Renmin’s couple bracelets. When he knew that Jaemin bought matching bracelets for him and Renjun, he was amused – surely it wouldn’t work out, given how fickle they both were. Although Renjun was utterly disloyal to his and ditched it early on, Jaemin was the complete opposite – wearing the bracelet at every waking moment. Jeno suspected that he even slept with it on, as the silver cuff seemed to be glued onto his wrist. Did he even like it _that_ much? Jeno couldn’t understand Jaemin’s strange dedication to single-handedly sailing the Renmin ship when it appeared Renjun couldn’t care less about it. He wondered if perhaps it was a side effect of extended physiotherapy.

It even came to the point where Jeno had to come between Markhyuck due to Jaemin’s insistence on pairing himself with Renjun and no one else in their performance of Miracle. The message was clear – Jeno had to pair up with someone else. The result was one part where Jeno jumped around with Donghyuck, and another where he and Mark made a heart together. Jeno experienced the anguish of watching his ships crumble around him, and he was beyond frustrated. In V-Lives, it was a common sight to see Jaemin staring at Renjun longingly, Renjun being unbothered, and Jeno glancing at the both of them in turn rather sadly, _That Should Be Me_ by Justin Bieber playing on loop in his head.

He wished things weren’t this complicated.

 

 

Huang Renjun had a problem.

(Or two, to be technically accurate.)

Since the start of the year, Jeno and Jaemin had been acting really… weirdly. Almost as if they were competing for his attention. He pretended to be oblivious but in reality, he knew exactly what they were up to – reviving their ships. Renjun honestly just wanted a drama-free comeback where he could focus on improving his skills but it seemed that life, as always, had other plans for him.

First thing, Jaemin’s eyes. When they were on him Renjun constantly felt like he had a pair of lasers boring holes into the back of his head. Every time Jaemin so much as glanced in his direction, Renjun would feel his whole body go on high alert, hairs standing on end. Jaemin’s gazes were so intense that Renjun had a hard time ignoring them and had to constantly remind himself not to turn back and reciprocate.

Then, the bracelets. Or _couple_ bracelets, as Jaemin insisted on calling them. It’s not that Renjun wasn’t thankful for Jaemin’s gift. He was, it’s just that Jaemin was scarily pressed about him wearing them. Initially, Renjun wore them together with Jaemin – admittedly they looked cute wearing them together. But after a while, Renjun got tired of wearing the same thing on his wrist over and over again and stopped wearing his.

That was when Jaemin went up to him one day after practice, sneaking up on him and almost causing a heart attack.

“You look nice today,” he said nonchalantly.

“Uh… thanks?” Renjun didn’t know where he was going with this, but suspected that he was up to no good.

Jaemin smiled widely. “You know what would make you look even better?”

Renjun raised an eyebrow in response.

“The bracelet I gave you in its rightful place on your wrist.”

Renjun could only nod dumbly, surprised at how straightforward Jaemin was. Taking it as a sign of acquiescence, Jaemin grinned widely and slung an arm across Renjun’s shoulders, then started talking to him about something completely unrelated. Renjun was completely weirded out.  

So when Renjun still didn’t wear the bracelet for the next few days, Jaemin resolved to begging him, asking him if he was cruel enough to break his heart by showing absolutely no care at all for his feelings. Renjun thought Jaemin was being oddly melodramatic about the whole thing and refused to agree to his demands. He’d wear the bracelet if he felt like it, not simply because Jaemin asked him to! He was a man of principles.

The act of passive-aggressiveness got out of hand when he asked a fan to pass the message to him for him to wear the bracelet. Renjun immediately got annoyed – who was him to tell him what to do? So he put on his best smile, the same one that he put on back in school when the teacher asked for his homework, and reassured the fan he’d try his best, all the while not intending to touch the bracelet ever again in his life.

Jeno, on the other hand, was also a pain. While he wasn’t as aggressive as Jaemin about it, there was no mistaking the extra touches he gave Renjun, or the effort he made to make sure Renjun was comfortable. He even lifted Renjun up during the SMTown in Dubai concert. Jeno’s skinship with him felt different this time compared to the earlier eras. It felt more… intentional? Calculated? As if Jeno was trying to signal something. Not to mention the glances Jeno threw at him and Jaemin, filled with confusion, hurt and longing. Renjun felt like his head would explode just thinking about it.

Renjun sighed deeply. He just wanted a stress-free life. Why couldn’t they just leave him alone?

 

 

 

“So,” said Jaemin.

“So,” said Renjun.

“So,” said Jeno.

Mark had finally called for an intervention after he claimed that the “weirdness between the three of them had gotten out of hand”. So here they were, sat on Jaemin’s bed, staring at each other in turn and no one wanting to speak up first. The silence in the room was bordering on stifling.

“You guys gotta talk! Or stay in there until you do,” a muffled voice sounded from outside. The three of them heaved a long-suffering sigh. Of course, Mark had to listen in on their conversation (or current lack thereof).

“We’ll start talking after you leave!” Renjun shouted back, and heard a groan in reply. Mark said something that none of them could discern, and a couple of seconds later they heard the sound of footsteps as Mark retreated from his stakeout outside Jaemin’s room.

Jaemin relented after Jeno and Renjun both looked at him. “Fine, I’ll go first.”

Renjun and Jeno looked on expectantly, waiting for Jaemin to speak.

“I was gonna create a new ship with you, Renjun. Look it worked because Renmin is actually a thing now, but you gotta reciprocate sometimes, you know.”

“I guessed as much,” Renjun sighed. “I kept feeling your eyes on the back of my head. It’s unnerving.”

“So you knew all along? Then why didn’t you do anything?” Jaemin clutched at his chest, affronted.

Renjun got defensive. “Why do I need to do anything? You started it. All I wanted for 2018 was some peace and you’re disrupting it.”

“Do you not see how much potential we have as a ship? We’re pretty famous in both Korea and China already! If you returned my advances we’d definitely overtake Markhyuck, no questions asked.”

“So this is why you’ve been acting strange…” Jeno muttered. Renjun and Jaemin both turned to him so fast that Jeno freaked out a bit.

“Who?” They both asked in unison.

“Jaemin. I couldn’t comprehend why he was suddenly so infatuated with you, but now I know.”

“Psh, you’re one to talk. You’ve been acting weird as hell too,” Jaemin huffed, crossing his arms in front of him.

“Me? You’re lying.”

“No, he’s right,” Renjun piped up. “You’ve been also weirdly possessive when you do skinship, like it’s some kind of competition.”

“I haven’t!” Jeno retorted, but with less confidence this time. Maybe he wasn’t as good at keeping his emotions in check than he thought, and they’d caught on to his jealousy.

“This is messed up,” Renjun groaned, shaking his head. There was a moment of silence, as the three of them started to comprehend the sheer idiocy of what they’d been doing.

Jaemin broke the silence first. “But Renjun, why don’t you reciprocate?”

“Yeah, it’s not hard to do something in return. Just to keep the fans happy,” Jeno concurred.

Renjun waved them away. “I’m not interested. Besides, I’m starting a ship with someone else.”

“Who?” They both asked, voices laced with hints of menace.

“Mark-hyung.”

 

 

Somewhere in the dorm, Mark sneezed, completely unaware of his impending doom.

 

**Author's Note:**

> i literally regret writing this so much it's so dumb i'm gonna go hide :( i swear my other fics aren't like this. i had this idea of making a crack(ish) au but it turned out terribly and i didn't know how to end it so it's just a mess. i know they're very ooc too, please don't hate me. anyway i have a couple of plot ideas for other fics, including this mega norenmin one, but i'm too scared to start them sigh. hopefully inspiration will come to me soon?
> 
> p.s. hmu on twitter (@jaeminsrenjun) if you want TT


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